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Help! I’m Watching a Christopher Nolan Movie Without Subtitles

We are watching this Chris Nolan film without subtitles, and I have no idea what is going on.

Subtitles are the raft that keeps me afloat from A story to B story. Without them, I am lost. Wandering through a forest without a map. At a Vegas buffet without chafing-dish labels.

In fact, if Zuckerberg developed a way for me to have subtitles implanted into my eye sockets, I would totally forgive him for the whole destruction-of-democracy thing.

It all started when my friends insisted that we watch “Tenet.” I didn’t protest—even though I really wanted to watch “The Lion King.” Yes, I know it was a cash grab by Disney and that the animation looks like uncooked meat, but Beyoncé is in it, so show some respect.

Then my friend Warren said that we should watch the movie without subtitles, as they distract from the cinematography.

Whatever, Warren—we get it. You majored in film, and now you have to constantly remind people of that by shoehorning phrases like “mise en scène” into conversations, because otherwise you’d have to accept the reality that you’re just a boring guy with an office job like the rest of us.

Anyway, now here we are, forty-five minutes into the movie—or are we three hours in? I’ve lost track of time, as well as the topography of my existence—and I haven’t a clue what’s going on.

So I must do what I have never done before—solve the puzzle of this plot without the assistance of subtitles.

The main character just said something important. Why did he have to say it so quietly? Warren looks nervous, so it must be pivotal in some way. Or is that just Warren’s face? Is Warren doing O.K.? Should I be checking in on him? Am I a bad friend?

Oh, shit. Explosion. O.K., it’s definitely the movie and not Warren’s failing marriage that has him stressed.

Wait, Robert Pattinson is in this? How is he in everything? Who is this guy’s agent?

Now the characters are arguing. And yet they’re still whispering. I made out the word “inverted.” That’s something. Now I must use that one word to work out what the hell is going on.

I already asked “What did he say?” twice. I have one more “What did he say?” left in my arsenal before my friends think I’m stupid. I can’t use it yet. I must try harder to understand.

Maybe it’ll help if I turn up the volume. Nice—that’s better. I just understood an entire sentence and FUCK! It’s so loud! Goddammit! There’s a car chase and my eardrums are about to burst. All right, I’ll turn it back down!

Great, here they go, mumbling again. In a British accent, too. Why did we even bother to overthrow the British colonial monarchy if, two hundred years later, I still have to stop myself from eating potato chips so that I don’t miss any dialogue?

As if time travel isn’t already complicated enough, the director had to also Nolan-ify it. Is he trying to get extra credit or something?

That man must be so anxious when he’s writing his scripts. I hope he finds peace and writes an ABC Family rom-com one day with a predictable plot and cliché characters. He deserves it.

Now we are halfway through this movie. Or this is the end. We could honestly be watching an entirely different movie and I wouldn’t know. So what is “Tenet”? That’s a person, right? Although I don’t think I’ve heard anyone call someone Tenet. Maybe they’ll say the word at the climax and the music will swell.

Or, wait, did they already say the word?

And why are they on a boat now? And now they’re in India? I thought they were in Russia? Time is going both forward and backward? Who is that? Who am I? If there were a gun to my head, I couldn’t answer these questions.

Is this movie a prank? It has to be a prank. Warren and my friends seem to be in on it.

Maybe I don’t know the English language as well as I thought I did. Maybe none of us do. Maybe none of us understand anything as well as we think we do. Maybe that’s the point the movie is trying to make.

Oh, shit, did I just understand this movie?

Wow. Turns out that I don’t need subtitles! The subtitles were within me this whole time! Never mind, there’s still an hour left.


More Humor

Tadap Movie Review: Ahan Shetty makes an intense debut, though the story leaves you craving for more

STORY: Mussoorie lad Ishana (Ahan Shetty) falls in love with a local politician’s London-educated daughter Ramisa (Tara Sutaria). While it might appear like a rich-girl-poor-boy love story, as the film unfolds, there’s more to it than that.

REVIEW: Launching a newcomer is quite an arduous task for any filmmaker. While trying to present them in the finest possible way, it’s also crucial that the actor in question is provided enough scope to display his or her wares. The first few seconds into Milan Luthria’s Tadap, and one knows the purpose of the film: to highlight debutant Ahan Shetty’s prowess as an angry action hero who is fuelled by his passion for his ladylove, played by Tara Sutaria. The film is the remake of the 2018 Telugu film, RX 100, which was based on a real incident.

Up to the interval point, Tadap’s narrative makes itself look like a typical love story of a poor boy’s romance with a rich girl, who appears to have been forcefully married off to another mister of her father’s choice. Post intermission, the narrative suddenly has a lot to unpack and it rushes to reveal all that led to lovers’ separation. Ishana’s character graph in the film stays steady throughout — he’s intense, fierce, and deeply passionate. And that is what works for Ahan in his debut film. His effort to internalise an intense character like Ishana in his very first film is palpable. While his dialogue delivery has scope for fine-tuning, Ahan has an impressive screen presence and shows a spark in his debut outing. However, in their bid to present him as a true-blue action-romance hero, the film’s writer Rajat Aroraa (screenplay and dialogues) and director Milan Luthria have focussed way too much on padding it with hefty dialogues, which are almost poetic and stuck in some sort of a time warp, and plot points that don’t service the story effectively.

As Ahan’s adoptive father, who the whole of Mussoorie refers to as Daddy, Saurabh Shukla pulls off his act with ample warmth and conviction. He lends gravitas to this narrative. Tara Sutaria as Ishana’s love interest Ramisa looks gorgeous in every frame – irrespective of whether she’s being playful, romantic, or breaking down. She could have shined more had the screenplay made some more provision for it, apart from a plot twist in the second half. The film falters at the story level, which makes it seem stretched for its runtime. While Tadap feels sluggish pre-interval, it literally wears running shoes in the second half, unravelling dramatic twists and turns, coupled with some heavy action pieces. As a viewer, one only ends up wishing for some parts of this half to have been eased into the first half to create a more gripping watch.

The songs by Pritam are hummable. The cinematography romances Mussoorie as a city – making it look dreamy and beautiful and lending a pretty backdrop to the love story. It’s not troublesome that Tadap is an unapologetic commercial potboiler. But one can’t ignore that it’s filled with tropes and with sequences that make it look jaded for the time in which it’s set. Also, the passion in this love story often fails to stir your emotions, as the writing is unable to hold it together.

To sum it up, while Tadap unabashedly plays to the gallery with action, music, and well-shot visuals, it would have helped a great deal if its screenplay had created some more room for the actors to drive home a more memorable love story.

‘Atrangi Re’ movie review: Even Dhanush can’t save this weird take on love

“I can’t breathe; everything else is alright,” declares Rinku Suryavanshi (Sara Ali Khan), a spirited runaway girl from Siwan town in Bihar, who loves to make a dash — for and from love — as she cranes her head out of a moving autorickshaw in the polluted air of Delhi. This is exactly the problem with director Aanand L Rai’s latest leap of faith. It has an unusual premise, grand scale, big-ticket performers and the moving melodies of A.R Rahman, but the contrived love story still gasps for breath.

Also read | Get ‘First Day First Show’, our weekly newsletter from the world of cinema, in your inbox. You can subscribe for free here

Like Vishwanathan Iyer or simply Vishu (Dhanush), a Tamil medical student from a Delhi college, who is forcibly married to Rinku — under the influence of laughing gas — there is a lot of hot air around a seemingly-complex idea revolving around two men and a woman.

Rinku tells Vishu her heart beats for Sajjad Ali Khan (Akshay Kumar), a magician whom nobody has seen. Vishu is committed to another girl. Both think it would just be a matter of days before they go their respective ways, but as we know, in the universe of Rai and writer Himanshu Sharma, the boy and girl tend to meet under strange circumstances before cupid strikes. But here as the title suggests, things get increasingly weird and outlandish. So much so that by the time it lands on its feet, one has lost patience.

The spectacular premise is rooted in mental illness, but seeks to probe the layers of the heart. It talks of the confusion girls have in choosing between a lover and a husband. It hints at how some girls look for a reflection of their father in their partner. It talks of human vulnerabilities and selfless love. It talks of letting go of the past and embracing the present. A metaphor works in many ways; Rinku could well be the Sita of yesterday or a reflection on the India of today.

Read More | Aanand L. Rai on ‘Atrangi Re’ and his bond with Dhanush: ‘He gets the same love as my daughter’

However, for all these meanings to unravel, the story on the surface has to work. Here, Sharma and Rai, falter once again. Like Zero — their last outing at the turnstiles — in a bid to move beyond the obvious, they have again bloated a beautiful little thought into a contrived mess.

With no clear intrinsic logic in sight, the stereotypes that the script upholds about Bihar and South Indians for a few laughs become all the more glaring. Similarly, its depiction of mental illness is disturbing to say the least. We understand love still has many obstacles in the hinterland, but it is hard to imagine that a powerful family doesn’t try to know the identity of the guy their daughter is desperate to elope with. We know mental illness is still hard to comprehend, but here it has been used just for convenience to further a contrived plot. It seems the protagonist’s friend has been told that he is a sidekick first and a psychiatrist later!

Sara Ali Khan wholeheartedly dives into the role of the perky protagonist, but falters as the material gets dense and is expected to be more than just Chaka Chak, her introductory number. As the elephant-riding magician, Akshay Kumar comes across as a single-trick pony for no fault of his. He has just chosen a wrong vehicle to experiment with his image.

As the medical student who becomes the cure, Vishu is a derivative of the character Dhanush played in Raanjhanaa. His simple, unalloyed charm is once against hard to resist, and it’s his unlikely covalence with Sara that lends meaning to songs like Jaise Ret Zara Si. He instills a semblance of life into the love story and is the reason that keeps you interested even when Rai’s big reveal makes you increasingly frustrated. But even he can’t salvage this weird take on love.

Atrangi Re is now streaming on Disney+ Hotstar

 

An F5 Tornado Touches Down – Official Trailer for ’13 Minutes’ Thriller

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Watch Björk in New Trailer for Viking Revenge Film The Northman

The first official trailer for The Northman is here. Robert Eggers’ viking revenge film, which stars Björk, Nicole Kidman, Alexander Skarsgård, Willem Dafoe, and Ethan Hawke, is in theaters April 22, 2022. Watch the trailer below.

The film, set in 10th century Iceland, follows a Viking prince avenging his murdered father. Production resumed in August last year after a long pandemic-related delay. Eggers co-wrote the screenplay with the Icelandic poet and longtime Björk collaborator Sjón. Focus Features will release the film in the United States; Universal has the international rights.

Check out “Revisiting Björk’s First Film, The Juniper Tree, In Honor of Its Restoration” on the Pitch.

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ABC Will Broadcast Original The Sound of Music Film, Starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer

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ABC Will Broadcast Original The Sound of Music Film, Starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer | Playbill

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Film TV News

ABC Will Broadcast Original The Sound of Music Film, Starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer

The 1965 movie musical won five Academy Awards, including Best Picture.


Julie Andrews

The classic Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II musical The Sound of Music returns to ABC December 19 at 7 PM ET; check local listings.

The family-friendly movie musical, a holiday favorite for many, features Julie Andrews as Maria von Trapp, Christopher Plummer as Captain George von Trapp, Eleanor Parker as Baroness Elsa Schraeder, Richard Haydn as Max Detweiler, Charmian Carr as Liesl von Trapp, Nicholas Hammond as Friedrich von Trapp, Heather Menzies as Louisa von Trapp, Duane Chase as Kurt von Trapp, Angela Cartwright as Brigitta von Trapp, Debbie Turner as Marta von Trapp, Kym Karath as Gretl von Trapp, Peggy Wood as Mother Abbess, Anna Lee as Sister Margaretta, Portia Nelson as Sister Berthe, Marni Nixon as Sister Sophia, Daniel Truhitte as Rolfe, and Ben Wright as Herr Zeller.

Based on the real-life von Trapp family, who fled their home to escape the Nazis in 1938, The Sound of Music concerns Maria, a young woman who has left the Austrian convent to work for Navy captain Georg Von Trapp. As governess to his seven unruly children, Maria soon finds herself falling for their father. Songs include “Edelweiss,” ”My Favorite Things,” “Climb Every Mountain,” “Do-Re-Mi,” “Sixteen Going On Seventeen,” “The Lonely Goatherd,” and the title tune.

The film was directed and produced by Robert Wise, with a screenplay by Ernest Lehman, adapted from the stage musical with music and lyrics by Rodgers and Hammerstein and a book by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse.

Details about an official watch party can be found here.

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Rarely-Seen Photos From the Sound of Music Film Set and Recording Studio

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  • Video

    The costume designer won a Tony Award for his work on Hamilton.



  • Film TV News

    The March broadcast launches the new Broadway in Concert series.



  • Film TV News

    Luke Evans and Josh Gad are set to reprise their roles as Gaston and Lefou.



  • Video

    The filmmakers, cast, and family of the late Jonathan Larson talk about the making of the film and Larson’s impact on musical theatre.



  • Film TV News

    Baranski related the surprisingly theatrical fever dream to talk-show host Stephen Colbert.



  • Video

    The Golden Globe winner stopped by The Daily Show this week.



  • Awards

    The category celebrates LGBTQ+ representation on stage.



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    The documentary about reopening Broadway following the shutdown includes interviews with Adrienne Warren, Aaron Tveit, Chita Rivera, and more.



  • Awards

    Winners will be announced February 26 in a televised ceremony on BET.

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Steve and Sam are Both Captain America Now, Like They Should’ve Been

When Sam Wilson was granted the title of Captain America from his longtime friend Steve Rogers during Marvel’s “Marvel NOW!” relaunch in 2015, it was only a matter of time before he would both go back to being the Falcon and get boosted to Cap in the MCU. Now that Captain America 4 is on the horizon, Marvel’s comics would like to do what probably should’ve been done post-Secret Empire: rather than Sam going back to being the Falcon, he and Steve will just both be Captain America.

In the upcoming comic Captain America: Symbol of Truth by novelist Tochi Onyebuchi (Beasts Made of Night, Riot Baby) and comic book artist RB Silva (Powers of X), Sam will return to the mantle of Cap and once again be in the public eye. The public’s perception of Sam as Cap was part of Nick Spencer’s run with the character, and Onyebuchi told Entertainment Weekly how he believed it’s a well worth returning to. “There’s so many characters that have yet to interact with Sam as Captain America,” he explained, “dynamics we haven’t seen…What does it mean for the rest of the world to accept a Black Captain America?

Symbol of Truth is an fitting subtitle for the book, wherein Sam investigates a conspiracy that naturally involves uncovering secrets about America that its government would rather he didn’t. As a fan of globetrotting spy thrillers, Onyebuchi couldn’t pass up the chance to put Sam in such a plot. Since America has a history of shadowy politics, especially in regard to their foreign policies, he wanted to explore how Sam and his teammate Joaquin Torres (the second Falcon) would navigate that world in a different way from Steve.

While Sam handles matters across the country, Steve’s book will be firmly rooted in America. Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty from writing duo Jackson Lanzing and Colin Kelley with art by Hellions’ Carmen Carnero will explore how much things have changed in the decades since his ice nap and subsequent return. As a member of the “Greatest Generation,” Kelly believed that it could be used as a great starting point for Steve to explore the “radical shift” in America, particularly in recent years. Ta-Nehisi Coates’ recent run explored this as well, and Lanzing acknowledged how they wanted to further continue that thread with co-star Bucky Barnes.

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That includes all the programs you need for leisure and for work—Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, Teams, and OneNote are all included in this single-device license key.

“There’s a lot of inward-looking Steve has to do in terms of his legacy and himself,” Lanzing said, adding that the book would be more a story about Steve personally than of Captain America, though he still has the title. “What does Captain America mean to Steve? What do his friends need from him specifically? In our book, he is going to be really looking at what it means to be Steve Rogers.”

Both books will spin out of Captain America #0 written by all three writers and drawn by Mattia De Lulis, which Lanzing called a “conversation” between Steve and Sam about their shared duty as Captain America while doing battle with Arnim Zola. From there, the two books will explore their respective men grappling with America’s legacy and their complicated feelings on the matter. “Cap can’t turn his back on America, neither of the Caps can,” Kelley acknowledged. “They believe the idea is good, that the core is good and worth fighting for. But both need to wrestle with what that means.”

Captain America #0 will release first on April 20, followed by Sam’s Symbol of Truth #1 in May, and the Steve-focused Sentinel of Liberty #1 in June.


Wondering where our RSS feed went? You can pick the new one up here.

Official Trailer for ‘Dead Asleep’ Doc About the Sleepwalking Murder

Official Trailer for ‘Dead Asleep’ Doc About the Sleepwalking Murder

by
December 8, 2021
Source: YouTube

“It’s almost impossible to wake up a sleepwalker.” Hulu has revealed an official trailer for a documentary film titled Dead Asleep, which (according to Hulu) puts “a ground-breaking new spin on the true-crime genre.” From the award-winning director of Abducted in Plain Sight, Dead Asleep will take you through the true story of when a case of sleepwalking turned murder. The film follows and shares exclusive footage of the case of Randy Herman Jr., a man convicted of murdering his roommate, which he says he committed while sleepwalking in 2017. Crazy! This is for real?! It reminds me of the doc A Glitch in the Matrix, but that story is a bit scarier. This one seems fascinating. “Pulse Films has secured exclusive access to Herman and his family, the defense and prosecution attorneys, journalists who covered the case, forensic psychiatrists and world experts in violent parasomnia (sleep-walking) to give viewers an inside look at the shocking twists and turns of the controversial crime.” Oooh okay I’m definitely curious, it looks seriously compelling.

Here’s the official trailer (+ poster) for Skye Borgman’s doc Dead Asleep, from Hulu’s YouTube:

In a ground-breaking new spin on the true-crime genre, the documentary Dead Asleep flips the traditional thriller narrative to explore a deeper and more troubling mystery: Did a remorseful Randy Herman Jr. really commit a brutal murder in his sleep, or was it a convenient cover story? Pulse Films has secured exclusive access to Herman and his family, the defense and prosecution attorneys, journalists who covered the case, forensic psychiatrists and world experts in violent parasomnia (sleep-walking) to give viewers an inside look at the shocking twists and turns of the controversial crime. Dead Asleep is directed by acclaimed cinematographer / filmmaker Skye Borgman, director of the docs Junk Dreams and Abducted in Plain Sight previously. Produced by Sandrine Magloire-Szlasa. It hasn’t premiered at fests or elsewhere, as far as we know. Hulu will debut Dead Asleep streaming starting on December 16th, 2021. Intriguing?

Find more posts: Documentaries, To Watch, Trailer

Channing Tatum + A Belgian Malinois Doggie in First Trailer for ‘Dog’

Channing Tatum + A Belgian Malinois Doggie in First Trailer for ‘Dog’

by
November 17, 2021
Source: YouTube

“She’s never slept in a nice bed before.” MGM has revealed the official trailer for a movie titled Dog, a story about a man and his best friend. “A filthy animal unfit for human company… and a dog.” This one is opening in February, after a pandemic delay from this year. Disgraced Army Ranger Briggs and his Belgian Malinois companion Lulu race down the Pacific Coast in time to catch their best friend’s and her handler’s funeral. Dog is actually the directorial debut of actor Channing Tatum, who co-directs with his producing partner Reid Carolin, also making his directorial debut after producing Magic Mike and most of Tatum’s movies. Tatum also co-stars in this with Q’orianka Kilcher, Jane Adams, Kevin Nash, Ronnie Gene Blevins, Nicole LaLiberte, Aqueela Zoll, Cayden Boyd, and Skyler Joy. Okay this looks adorable and amusing and wholesome. A story about two animals helping each other get better. Oh I’m so there. Dogs are the best.

Here’s the official trailer (+ poster) for Reid Carolin Channing Tatum’s Dog, from MGM’s YouTube:

“A filthy animal unfit for human company… and a dog.” Army Ranger Briggs (Channing Tatum), along with his companion Lulu, a Belgian Malinois, haul ass down the Pacific Coast in time to catch their best friend’s and handler’s funeral. One of them has a week to live, the other lives like every day is his last. Dog is co-directed by first-time filmmakers Reid Carolin (a producer on Magic Mike, Logan Lucky, 6 Balloons, Light Years, America: The Motion Picture) Channing Tatum, both making their feature directorial debut with this project. The screenplay is written by Reid Carolin and Brett Rodriguez. Produced by Gregory Jacobs, Peter Kiernan, Brett Rodriguez, Channing Tatum. MGM will debut Carolin Tatum’s Dog movie in theaters nationwide starting February 18th, 2022 early next year. First impression? Looking good so far?

Find more posts: To Watch, Trailer

Children of Blood & Bone’s Paramount Shift Happened Because of Star Wars

Recently, news broke that the adaptation of the YA series Children of Blood Bone from Nigerian-American writer Tomi Adeyemi would be developed at paramount. What was notable about it was how it was originally in development at Disney and Lucasfilm, and something they openly touted as in development back in 2020 during Disney’s incredibly packed investor call. And if that didn’t already make it a big deal, the fact that it was expected to be Lucasfilm’s big non-Star Wars IP certainly would. So what happened?

According to a recent report from the Hollywood Reporter, Star Wars happened. In speaking to their sources, they learned how Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy took interest an in Children when it was in danger of being lost in the fallout of the Disney-Fox merger. But despite Kennedy’s interest, there was a clear focus on building out the Star Wars universe, which we’re currently seeing happen in real time. As a result, Children didn’t get very far in production.

Exacerbating matters further was how Adeyemi allegedly began to be displeased with the glacial progress of her adaptation following the Investor Day call. When she started pushing to be the one to pen the theatrical film’s script, Lucasfilm was allegedly unwilling to meet her request. When the property was allowed to be bid on in fall 2021, paramount not only picked up the rights, they allowed Adeyemi to have her creative influence and to pen the screenplay. She’ll executive produce alongside Temple Hill Entertainment’s (Maze Runner, Twilight) Wyck Godfrey and Marty Bowen and Sunswept Entertainment’s (Percy Jackson) Karen Rosenfelt.

Children of Blood Bone tells the story of the orphan Zélie and her efforts to bring back magic to bring down her country’s evil king. The two currently released books of the Legacy of Orisha trilogy—Blood Bone and Virtue Vengeance—debuted to the top spot in New York Times’ bestseller list during their respective releases of 2018 and 2019. Currently untitled, the third installment to the trilogy is expected to release in 2023.


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Games and movies projected by this thing will still be beautiful in all their lasered glory, and it can accept a 4K signal, even if it doesn’t show a 4K resolution picture

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