And it is because we are all awake, responding to the world and others around us, that a show is never exactly the same. An actor’s performance can differ depending on their mood that day or that of the audience. In a show as long-running as this one, significant life experiences – such as living through a pandemic – have changed how the themes of our story resonate.
During one of our first post-lockdown rehearsals, when the actor playing Scorpius delivered their line – “I mean, normally, being in lockdown, being in constant detention, it’d break me, but now – what’s the worse they can do? Bring back Moldy Voldy and have him torture me?” – there was a collective cringe. Elsewhere, in scenes that ruminate on loneliness and isolation, there was a slower, sadder delivery of lines. And, of course, the experience of gathering in crowds will never be the same. It’s likely that all audience members now arrive at the theatre with some anxiety.
I spent most of the months out of work in 2020 working on edits of my debut novel, Small Joys of Real Life. While I was missing my workplace, I drew on my skills of rewatching in order to see my words afresh with every reading. If a character is inserted or taken out of a scene, how does that effect the rest of the work? What happens if you switch around a sentence? I applied the same close reading to a stack of novels I reread – works by Sigrid Nunez, Sally Rooney, Elena Ferrante and Peggy Frew – novels I remembered reading in large gulps, almost without looking up. Already knowing their endings, I wasn’t wondering what would happen, but trying to figure out how. Mostly, I tried to replicate the experience of seeing a show. Remove any distractions and pay attention. What’s happening and how does it make me feel today?
Much like seeing the same show on repeat, lockdown forced this narrowing of focus on all aspects of my life. Without weddings, concerts or holidays to look forward to, I had to learn to appreciate the joy of the changing colours of foliage in my neighbours’ yards, my local restaurant’s weekend dinner special, the sponginess of a fresh loaf of sourdough.